Saturday, December 29, 2007
Notes to my unborn
Dearest I write these lines as you are still getting formed in your mothers tummy. In a few months you will be one of the newer members of this world.
Welcome to the world...As you will yourself see it is a fascinating (some call it crazy) place.
As a new parent, i have no clue how to bring you up - i and you mummy will learn as we go along. We will not do the best job all the time but we are surely going to try. Honestly. And with the best intentions. However, as they say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". So i will not pretend that despite our best efforts and intentions you may not like what we have to offer. And herein lies one of the first truths of life :- you cannot choose your parents. You my dear, will make several choices in life : career, partner, values but the one thing that remains immutable is the relationship between us and you. It is a relationship of blood. My own dad said to me once - one cannot understand life so long as you dont have children. And so we are going to find out.
Which brings me to an even more basic question :- why did you come into this world ? Well, the honest answer is that having children is one of the most important aspects of being human. Feeling human. Every human being that you see around you has a mother and father. There is something about having a child which is so -- so intriguing and special. Firstly it is amazing to think that we can create life. Its special feeling. A High. All of us have only one life to show for and the experience of being a parent is something not to be missed. For anything...I like to think that a child is a parent's most earnest attempt for something meaningful. And everybody, though they may sometimes not realise it, needs a 'family'. A place called 'home'. A place where a person can find solace, security and unconditional acceptance. You are a part of our family. We wanted to have you. Bring you up and love you to pieces.
We are begining this journey having a very humble view of what we can do as parents. Yes we will give you all the learnings that we think are necessary (and am sure you may not agree with us most of the time :-). But parents are not omnipotent. They can point the direction for you and gentle nudge you at times. But finally it is your enviorment that will shape you and what you bring into this world as your 'own being'. You bring to this world your own unique gifts and talents. Your own self - which possesses its own 'free will' which will make its own choices. And your own luck. We wish you all the best in this journey.
I am writing the following paragraphs to you as "life-lessons". However whatever i am saying here is not "the truth". You should form your own views and so long as you do them with some care and consideration you are free to disagree with me. But i am writing these as it is the duty of every parent to imbue their progeny with some sense of the world. Some markers and directions to navigate life with. Here i am only trying to pass on the precious little i have been able to make sense of.
1. Core Values : But it is a realisation that has kept me in good stead for the first 30 years of my life - and i like to believe it is an immutable life-lesson. All human beings possess 'values' -deeply held beliefs through which we view the world. These core values are not some moral axioms, nor some dogmatic dos and donts. But they are the core of your being. For example "art", "equality of sexes", "scientific outlook", "tolerance" etc. are some examples i can cite as my own.
All of us as adults and living in any law-abiding land have a responsibility for our actions. But that is not enough. As you grow into an adult, you have the responsibility of your beliefs also. Examine the values that you will choose in your life. They will define you as a person. As you grow up, some of these values will get scuplted and formed. Some of these are the product of the time you grow up in, product of the economic/social circumstances. But you need to watch-out. Carefully examine your own values before believing in them too strongly. The minimum expectation is that you apply a rational and logical process while selecting these values. Read what the great thinkers before your time have said. Question, Challenge and Seek. Ponder and apply a certain intellectual vigour before accepting them. And in this process be open and receptive to a contrarian point of view. In my experience, core values are distilled over a time. You do not hit on the optimum view in the first attempt. It is also important to even make the odd-mistake to truely distil and clarify your thought.
So long as you continue to search for the truth, all is well. Keep alive the healthy sprit of inquiry. And make an effort to write down what you belive in. In my experience, writing brings a clarity which is sometimes not attainable in speech. Another message is that once you have formed these core values, it is best to associate with people who possess similar core values. I have found that true relationships do not exist for long if the core values of the individuals are very different. The most important point of having these core values (a barometer of your being) is that it helps to separate the important from the clutter. To focus on what is really important and enduring.
2. Open Mind - Apart from all the other things that you might learn in this world, "learning to learn" is perhaps the most important. To use a cliche, "Change if the only constant thing in this world". Yes- you are born in a time where the rate of change is perhaps accelerating. After centuries, mankind's technical prowess has reached a threshold where scientific progress has become an "accelerating snowball" - propled by it's own motion. Also social change is perhaps the fastest in human history. Before your times, in almost all eras, a son/daughter could not expect a dramatically different environment from their parents. But now, with accelerating change the 'genration gap' is perhaps a few years. So i would say just this to you. Keep an open mind about changes you will see in your lifetime. Do not close yourslef in such firm beliefs where you are not able to look at something differently. Keep up with what is happening around the world and never let your curiosity flag. (Often you will find that the truth lies somewhere 'in between'. That duality is the only reality which is tenable in the long run.)
3. Knowledge : One of the biggest faculties humans possess is the ability to Think. Thinking is not possible without the use of 'concepts' and the imgination to manipulate these concepts to synthesise higher order 'concepts'. Hence the first thing is to know the basic concepts. Words are nothing but abstractions of concepts. Words represent something but they themselves are not the thing. (The word “cow” is not the thing that exists out there with four legs, gives us milk, and goes moo.) Once you are familiar with the concepts, one has to have the skill to manipulate these concepts in different ways to synthesize higher order concepts. All education is ultimately an attempt to acquire a vocabulary of concepts and the skill to manipulate the vocabulary in different ways to build higher-level concepts. Here imagination and innovation (backed by a scientific temper) are the most important ingredients of this 'symbol manipulation'.
While faith has it's place in the world, try to imbibe a scientific temper. A scientific temper is not 'believing in science' at the cost of 'faith'. Perhaps it is important is to think like a scientist. A scientist uses the feedback loop of experimentation, observation and deduction to form his conclusions - and his conclusions are again subject to experimentation with ANY independent observer. That is the beauty of the scientific principle that one's conclusioins are verifiable by ANYBODY who is willing to do a repeatable experiment.
These are some of the very broad strokes that i want to sketch as you embark on your life. I have tried to sound normative and will encourage you to make your own conclusions but have just tried to share some very broad views. Welcome to this world little one. Hope it is a fascinating journey for you and hope that i can share some some parts of your journey. With loads of love from your father.
Welcome to the world...As you will yourself see it is a fascinating (some call it crazy) place.
As a new parent, i have no clue how to bring you up - i and you mummy will learn as we go along. We will not do the best job all the time but we are surely going to try. Honestly. And with the best intentions. However, as they say "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". So i will not pretend that despite our best efforts and intentions you may not like what we have to offer. And herein lies one of the first truths of life :- you cannot choose your parents. You my dear, will make several choices in life : career, partner, values but the one thing that remains immutable is the relationship between us and you. It is a relationship of blood. My own dad said to me once - one cannot understand life so long as you dont have children. And so we are going to find out.
Which brings me to an even more basic question :- why did you come into this world ? Well, the honest answer is that having children is one of the most important aspects of being human. Feeling human. Every human being that you see around you has a mother and father. There is something about having a child which is so -- so intriguing and special. Firstly it is amazing to think that we can create life. Its special feeling. A High. All of us have only one life to show for and the experience of being a parent is something not to be missed. For anything...I like to think that a child is a parent's most earnest attempt for something meaningful. And everybody, though they may sometimes not realise it, needs a 'family'. A place called 'home'. A place where a person can find solace, security and unconditional acceptance. You are a part of our family. We wanted to have you. Bring you up and love you to pieces.
We are begining this journey having a very humble view of what we can do as parents. Yes we will give you all the learnings that we think are necessary (and am sure you may not agree with us most of the time :-). But parents are not omnipotent. They can point the direction for you and gentle nudge you at times. But finally it is your enviorment that will shape you and what you bring into this world as your 'own being'. You bring to this world your own unique gifts and talents. Your own self - which possesses its own 'free will' which will make its own choices. And your own luck. We wish you all the best in this journey.
I am writing the following paragraphs to you as "life-lessons". However whatever i am saying here is not "the truth". You should form your own views and so long as you do them with some care and consideration you are free to disagree with me. But i am writing these as it is the duty of every parent to imbue their progeny with some sense of the world. Some markers and directions to navigate life with. Here i am only trying to pass on the precious little i have been able to make sense of.
1. Core Values : But it is a realisation that has kept me in good stead for the first 30 years of my life - and i like to believe it is an immutable life-lesson. All human beings possess 'values' -deeply held beliefs through which we view the world. These core values are not some moral axioms, nor some dogmatic dos and donts. But they are the core of your being. For example "art", "equality of sexes", "scientific outlook", "tolerance" etc. are some examples i can cite as my own.
All of us as adults and living in any law-abiding land have a responsibility for our actions. But that is not enough. As you grow into an adult, you have the responsibility of your beliefs also. Examine the values that you will choose in your life. They will define you as a person. As you grow up, some of these values will get scuplted and formed. Some of these are the product of the time you grow up in, product of the economic/social circumstances. But you need to watch-out. Carefully examine your own values before believing in them too strongly. The minimum expectation is that you apply a rational and logical process while selecting these values. Read what the great thinkers before your time have said. Question, Challenge and Seek. Ponder and apply a certain intellectual vigour before accepting them. And in this process be open and receptive to a contrarian point of view. In my experience, core values are distilled over a time. You do not hit on the optimum view in the first attempt. It is also important to even make the odd-mistake to truely distil and clarify your thought.
So long as you continue to search for the truth, all is well. Keep alive the healthy sprit of inquiry. And make an effort to write down what you belive in. In my experience, writing brings a clarity which is sometimes not attainable in speech. Another message is that once you have formed these core values, it is best to associate with people who possess similar core values. I have found that true relationships do not exist for long if the core values of the individuals are very different. The most important point of having these core values (a barometer of your being) is that it helps to separate the important from the clutter. To focus on what is really important and enduring.
2. Open Mind - Apart from all the other things that you might learn in this world, "learning to learn" is perhaps the most important. To use a cliche, "Change if the only constant thing in this world". Yes- you are born in a time where the rate of change is perhaps accelerating. After centuries, mankind's technical prowess has reached a threshold where scientific progress has become an "accelerating snowball" - propled by it's own motion. Also social change is perhaps the fastest in human history. Before your times, in almost all eras, a son/daughter could not expect a dramatically different environment from their parents. But now, with accelerating change the 'genration gap' is perhaps a few years. So i would say just this to you. Keep an open mind about changes you will see in your lifetime. Do not close yourslef in such firm beliefs where you are not able to look at something differently. Keep up with what is happening around the world and never let your curiosity flag. (Often you will find that the truth lies somewhere 'in between'. That duality is the only reality which is tenable in the long run.)
3. Knowledge : One of the biggest faculties humans possess is the ability to Think. Thinking is not possible without the use of 'concepts' and the imgination to manipulate these concepts to synthesise higher order 'concepts'. Hence the first thing is to know the basic concepts. Words are nothing but abstractions of concepts. Words represent something but they themselves are not the thing. (The word “cow” is not the thing that exists out there with four legs, gives us milk, and goes moo.) Once you are familiar with the concepts, one has to have the skill to manipulate these concepts in different ways to synthesize higher order concepts. All education is ultimately an attempt to acquire a vocabulary of concepts and the skill to manipulate the vocabulary in different ways to build higher-level concepts. Here imagination and innovation (backed by a scientific temper) are the most important ingredients of this 'symbol manipulation'.
While faith has it's place in the world, try to imbibe a scientific temper. A scientific temper is not 'believing in science' at the cost of 'faith'. Perhaps it is important is to think like a scientist. A scientist uses the feedback loop of experimentation, observation and deduction to form his conclusions - and his conclusions are again subject to experimentation with ANY independent observer. That is the beauty of the scientific principle that one's conclusioins are verifiable by ANYBODY who is willing to do a repeatable experiment.
These are some of the very broad strokes that i want to sketch as you embark on your life. I have tried to sound normative and will encourage you to make your own conclusions but have just tried to share some very broad views. Welcome to this world little one. Hope it is a fascinating journey for you and hope that i can share some some parts of your journey. With loads of love from your father.
# posted by Abhijat @ 12:36 AM 
